My little bundle of joy decided he wanted to come a little early... 12 weeks and 1 day early. Now we’re on day 43 in the nicu.
I mentioned to my doctor that I’ve been getting cramps and after finally getting in to my doctor’s office I was sent to the emergency room. They examined me and determined it was preterm labor after they noticed that my cervix was a little short. I was told to “take it easy” and if anyone knows me they know that a simple task like that is not easy for me. 8 days later, I was having stomach pains and went to the emergency room again once the pain became unbearable. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia which isn’t safe for a mom or her baby. I was induced at 6:30pm on December 18th, and had my sweet miracle boy at 9:24am December 19th.
Everyday is a rollercoaster and most days it’s hard to get out of bed but then I feel like I’m a horrible mother if I’m not at the nicu for 6+ hours. The entire situation isn‘t what I expected. I didn’t get to change his first diaper. I didn’t get to hold him or look at his face when he was born. I didn’t even get to see him until two days after he was born because I was still on magnesium. I still look back and think about how hard Jake and I worked to have a baby with the appointments and the medications and sometimes I think God is telling me that I should look into other ways to be a mom. I am truly blessed that he looks so good and is doing everything he needs to. I’m just ready for my family to be complete in our own home.
The anxiety of the uncertainty is not fun. When they say, “you take one step forward and two steps back” it’s more like ten steps back. I’m proud of all of his milestones, but these setbacks are taking a toll. I’m glad I have an amazing husband, but even then I feel like I’m doing it all alone. I know this is all temporary, but it’s hard to see the end. Praying with Easton as a family every night has helped us focus my attention and give thanks that he’s here. But boy, we can’t wait until he’s home. 💕