The love that I have for my perfect boy grows more and more everyday. I did not think it was even possible to love someone so much. Ugh he is my entire heart plus more. He is so strong and so smart and VERY stubborn just like his mama. There are times when I feel like it is hard to be the typical “good mom” while finishing up my bachelors degree (Summer 2021 WOOT WOOT) and interning at a psychiatric hospital, going right into the one year masters program starting in the fall, and still working 32 hours per week. I even have the guilt of not working full time.
Now to my baby - the guilt of feeling like a TV is helping raise my child during a global pandemic is really rough. Should I take him to daycare? Should I work less or can I afford to work less? (I am working from home unless I am interning which is only 15 hours per week so that helps slightly. But it does not mean that I am able to entertain him throughout my entire eight hour shift.) Am I being too cautious? Easton has to take medicine everyday to help him breathe and prevent/treat symptoms of asthma. With that being said I am still terrified of COVID-19 and being too careless and it impacting my child who is my entire life.
I feel like I have been extremely jealous of the people that can call over family or friends and have them at their house within 20 minutes. That is not something that is available to me. Does that help Jake and I become better parents and more adaptable? I think so - but it also puts on so much pressure of making sure we are doing everything right all by ourselves.
And don’t even get me started on keeping the house clean or finishing the started projects our contractor said would be finished in September that are still not done. I might just give up on those. 🤷🏽♀️ Laundry - how can a family of 3 have an average of FOUR loads of laundry per week? I feel like that is absolutely crazy. But here I am constantly doing what I can to fulfill the expectations of being a good mom and doing as much as I possibly can by myself. I know it is only Tuesday, BUT I have made dinner TWICE this week! I measured out our portions and made Jake eat all of his green beans.
I am trying to change my perspective of what a “good mom” is. Being a good mom to me means spending time tickling my sweet boy, taking him on walks with his sissy girl (our pup CeeCee), reading him stories, and playing ”THOMAS ON YOUR HEAD!!!” I would love to hear what other people’s thoughts are about what being a good mom looks like to you! Leave it in the comments below! 👇🏽