My non wedding vows
'You'll never be able to provide for her.' These words still echo in my head every now and then. Quoting my the boss at my last job, he said that to me prior me leaving the company. What he didn't know: I was already struggling to provide for Marissa while working at his company. Have you ever been so poor that you could only spend $17 at the grocery store, buying groceries for the week for two people? That was us. Working at a dead end sales job, I've never felt so stuck in my life, but I wouldn't change any of it for the world. It lead to a new life of success, happiness, struggles, and hardships. But I got to do it all with my best friend.
A background of us: best friends, soul mates. We make fun of each other constantly. Do we fight and argue? Of course, but they are so few and far between that I couldn't even tell you how long ago it was, or what it was even about (my guess: I didn't clean the dishes the correct way). We've been in sync since the beginning and haven't stopped since.
I can't describe to you the way I feel about Marissa. I don't even think I could put it into words if I tried. We have to have our wedding vows read for us to repeat, because we wouldn't have enough time if I wrote my own. I've never had someone love me the way she does. It's absolutely crazy how she does so much for me, and it's just part of her daily routine, things she does without even trying. She has been this way since day one. She tells me every day I'm the most handsome man in the world (and every other day that I smell funny). She will bring me home small surprises whenever she is at the store, just so I know she is always thinking about me. I forgot to get my lunch ready for work? It's already done. She will support me on things I don't even know I need, like going back to school to pursue my masters degree. It's absolutely amazing the way she has lived her life since we've gotten together. This is the side of us people don't always get to see.
My goal has been to provide for her as best as I can, especially after my boss made that comment to me. I used to think that I just had to provide for her by trying to pay for everything. But I have learned so much from her--when we first started dating, I knew how to be a boyfriend, but she taught me how to love someone. I want to give her everything she's ever wanted. I want to be able to provide for her so that she never has to wonder how rent is being paid, how we are going to have dinner on the table, or how our dog is going to have food in her bowl. I want to support every hope and dream that she has, whether that's owning a cemetery or just going to the store and getting some patio furniture and lights for outside. Whatever it is that she wants, I want her to go and get it. And if she doesn't, then I am going to go and get it for her and do everything I can to make it happen.
Not every day is a walk in the park. If you've read this far, you know that we have had our struggles. But I'll never question the love she has for me and it's made us stronger than we've ever been together. Not everyone gets to experience this type of feeling with someone, and I am ever so lucky that I get to do this for the rest of my life.